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How to Tell If He’s a Narcissist or Just Not That Into You

So, you’re wondering whether he’s a narcissist or simply not interested. Yes, you could spend hours reading articles, or, you could just consult this guide, where we’ll solve it all in—what?—750 words. Buckle up.

The World is His Stage, and You? You’re the Stagehand

Now, if he’s a narcissist, every interaction will be about him. Notice how you’re always listening to his latest saga? His career, his drama, his incredibly unique and groundbreaking opinions on reality TV—it’s all him, all the time.

If he’s just not into you, you’ll still get the monologue, but he’s more likely to forget you were even there. Narcissists need you for admiration; the uninterested need you for convenience. If he doesn’t seem to care when you zone out, he’s probably just not that into you.

Grand Gestures and Breadcrumbs - Is He Playing a Game?

The narcissist doesn’t just want attention; he needs it—so you’ll see sporadic bursts of affection. A surprise gift here, a grand speech there, just enough to keep you hooked. These gestures aren’t for you, of course; they’re for the story he’s crafting, where he’s the dashing hero.

On the other hand, if he’s not that into you, his attention might come in little crumbs. A text reply here, a vague plan to “hang out sometime” there. Narcissists breadcrumb with purpose; the disinterested do it by accident.

Criticism? Not for the Narcissist, No Sir.

Give a narcissist the mildest of criticisms, and you’ll see fireworks. How dare you, the mere mortal, question the godlike being before you? The reaction will range from icy coldness to full-blown victimhood—he’s misunderstood, maligned, the world’s last great tragedy.

The uninterested, meanwhile, won’t even notice. Try saying, “Hey, you were a bit harsh there,” and if he shrugs and forgets, he’s likely just disinterested. If your words don’t provoke a reaction at all, it’s less narcissism and more...apathy.

Public vs. Private – Two Different Personas?

A narcissist loves an audience and might be the charming life of the party when others are around. In private, though, the attention fades, and you get the real person—usually someone far less impressive. It’s all surface-level charisma covering up a void.

If he’s not that into you, the inconsistency remains, but it’s not so dramatic. Maybe he texts you when he’s bored or has a few minutes but goes silent the rest of the time. The key difference? He doesn’t care about impressing you at all.

The Future Talk - Big Plans or Big Avoidance?

Ask a narcissist about the future, and you’re bound to hear some lofty tales. You’re part of the vision, whether it’s his brand new business empire or a world tour—he’s got the plot, but don’t expect him to actually deliver. He loves the story but hates the follow-through.

The uninterested will dodge any future talk like it’s a dreaded chore. “Let’s see how things go” is code for “I’m just passing through.” Narcissists plan future dates with no intent to deliver; the uninterested just don’t care enough to plan.

Closing Thoughts

It’s easy to mistake self-absorption for disinterest, but narcissists are fueled by the attention they siphon from you, while the disinterested guy barely registers your presence. Spot the difference? Good. Now go enjoy something that actually brings you joy.


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